The Gamers' Newsletter

• Custom setting so that kills cause the spartan to disintegrate.
• Spartans would die in a manner appropriate to the weapon - if a rocket to a hog will one shot it, it should sure as hell gib the spartan. Lasers = evaporate.
• Team coloured lasers/explosions/shots.
• “party mode” setting - replacing common graphics with funny variants - sticky grenade becomes needle grenade, frag grenade becomes a smiley face bomb, ragdolls become grif - just the way sarge likes it.
• Begin a game by drop pod. Land onto your first spawn with dramatic pose. Excellent machinima content.
• Humorous assassinations - tap on the shoulder and stab, nut crack and back smack, atomic-noogie!
• Out with a bang - spartans finally learned the coveted suicide grunt maneuver.
• Taunts. T-bagging is too overused. 
• Basic voice commands, for those unfortunate souls who play without headsets. Drive up to them and shout “GET THE FUCK IN!” (profanity may be excluded).
• Custom game ability - tackle!
• Ability to flip an upright vehicle - cause sometimes rage gets the best of you.
• Rare (<1in10’000) events such as lightning strikes, space vehicle crashes and grunt swarms. (May be disabled in “ranked” matches).

Because a little bit of humor goes a long way.

Stumble onto shitty flash game.

Cave in, play said game.

Beat 1st achievment.

Beat 10th

Beat 20th

Have game wrapped around your finger the mechanics are so beaten

Beat 30th

Beat 31st

Game glitches out making it impossible to get 32nd and last achievment. At all.

I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING

Doing some scanning for a client, accidentally click my probe launcher one too many times - and it launches another probe.

When the hell did I get the skills to launch 7 probes?

(Also, came across a magnetometric and a radar site - yay for easy 12m).

[EDIT: Couldn’t find anything to the client’s liking. He was kind enough to pay a 150k donation for my work, despite results. He never knew about the 12m].

I shop in high sec only. I salvage in high sec only. All my routes and plans and missions and purchases happen in high sec. All contracts are restricted to high sec. I am an empire dweller.

So, I blindly assumed that a region wide purchase when my market is limited to high sec only would buy from high sec only.

NOPE!

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Any readers or followers who have not started playing EVE and would like to try it out, message me for a 21 day free trial (a whole week longer than the website itself gives you).

You can see what it’s like for yourself with no obligation. Should you choose to subscribe to even a single month of time on EVE, the remaining time you would have had on trial is also converted to full pilot time. That’s upto 51 days for the price of 1 month!

Eve is a truly beautiful game, but don’t worry if your computer isn’t as strong as most. The graphics can be turned town greatly and there is little processor hogging beyond that (just don’t join 1000 man battles right away).

So yeah, I have a very nice BPC (blueprint copy for those who don’t know) which will probably make me a fair few million. You know, 20 to 40 million depending on how stuff goes.

In my books, that is called awesome.

However, this BPC requires resources on an incredible scale, well beyond anything I have bought or held before. I am talking about 60’000 cubic metres of minerals for one run! (the BPC has 4)

But buy I shall. I had to ask my boss for a 40m loan to basically afford all this crap but he kindly obliged. I’ll be able to hand that back without difficulty.

So, I just spent many millions, almost as much as I did on my noctis. To ensure the fastest bestest minerals from all across the land, I’d choose my buy price, buy everything lower than that individually (avoiding tax and getting it at their price, not my higher one) then put up a buy order for the rest, regional coverage.

At the time of writing this (not moments after finishing the buy orders) I now have minerals in 26 different stations. 

Looks like my iteron is gonna get a hell of a lot of usage. As will my autopilot route optimisation. As will my calculator.

This is fun.

Well, basically my bio says I salvage a lot - which I do - and someone obviously saw that because they struck up a convo and said they had wrecks I could salvage.

I took my catalyst instead of my noctis in case it was a trap. Wasn’t a trap but they didn’t abandon the wrecks either so I had to go between them, making cat a better choice.

Important bit here - someone came to me looking for a salvager without a word from my mouth to them directly ever and neither indirectly in at least a week :)

It’s a start I guess. The salvage itself was shitty. >.<

What, you wanted an actual post? I just like taking the catalyst out once in a while, blow shit up, salvage it and come home.

No seriously:

I activated the nosferatu on the wreck because it’s pretty. No other reason.

The usual drill.

Go to system. Drop probes. Find a sig. Scan it down…

Woa.

I found a couple of Proteus ships. Yes, Tech 3’s.

So, I warp in, to find them only half way through the mission. No biggy, I’ll just start nabbing wrecks while they work. 

Didn’t wash with them. They packed up and left leaving me to almost get popped by cruisers!

So, I plan. I know how to get their stuff.

Switch out to a vexor. Stack it up with damage control, large shield extender and large shield recharger, 3 salvaging modules, a warp core stabiliser, 2 cap rechargers and a cloak.

Go back to the mission site, instantly cloak and start moving away from the beacon. Once 5km out I bring the ship to a halt. (THAT took a while). 

5 minutes later, in comes one of the Proteus again. He gets aggroed by everything and starts fighting, while making his way to the gate. I didn’t count on this bit! I watch as he approaches me, the distance dropping.

6km

5km

4km

3km

… He gets as close as 2059m before I am on a normal to his path and he starts to recede again.

59 metres more - 0.5 degrees to the side - and he would have knocked me out of cloak.

But he did not. I could wait and watch as he slowly destroyed all the npcs, then warped away.

And all the salvage was mine.

2.7m in total - not me best but totally worth it anyway - especially just to sit there, so tantalizingly close to being caught.

FUN.